Sex, Marriage, and Fairytales

This video is one of the most powerful things I've seen in a while. No commentary can do it justice. Check it.

To Appease the Summer Travel Bug

I love infographs posted on a blog I follow, Shrinkage is Good
This is information that I find valuable.

Ben and I are planning on going to Mexico (of course), Greece, and potentially India in the next few years. Two of those three on on this list :)!

DAY TWO: Texas to Memphis in 11.5 hrs (Part 2)

After the gigantic Cross, we made our way over to the Oklahoma border. My mom's side of the family is from here (Dutch immigrants and Choctaw Indians!) so it was interesting seeing where she came from.

This is the closest thing to a "welcome to Oklahoma" sign I could find.
Apparently Choctaw Indian's aren't too friendly ;-)

As you can tell, there was a lot to look at*....

Oh Yeah, this was the coolest part- a rock climbing gym inside an old grain silo. 

Tut tut, it looks like rain! 

You know you're in the Bible belt when you can't drive somewhere without a lil bit of conviction...

ALMOST to Little Rock, home of nothing but an Air Force base. FORWARD MARCH!

I would show you more pictures of Arkansas, but as I said, the only thing there was an Air Force base.* So I'll show you what used to be the MISSISSIPPI.


.. ... ..

TA-DA!

Yeah, this is the MISSISSIPPI as you drive into Memphis. The dirt around it used to be covered in water....
At least Tennessee welcomed us *cough, OKLAHOMA sucks, cough*'

We stayed in Memphis for the night and enjoyed the town. It was better than NEW YORK (that's not saying much if you know how much I dislike NYC). I'd say almost as cool as Philly (xo xo).

We stayed at this fabulous hotel that was the epitome of Southern Hospitality, The Madison!

*denotes sarcasm

Taking a LEAP of Faith...

**This was a blog I had intended to post before we left for Georgia, However, since I am often absent-minded, I forgot to. Now I am posting it and the parentheses are my "in retrospect" comments.

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...Or a plunge to our death. Only time will tell.


Ben & I have decided to move to Georgia. We've pretty much secured jobs there and you know  me, when I do something, its GO BIG OR GO HOME. In other words, "move to the complete opposite side of the country or don't move at all."


Mom calls it impulsive. I call it, impressive.




The friendly folks at AAA helped prepare me for my trip by giving me giant books for each state we'd be driving through. (I must note, I do not know why some states even have books since they are so empty. I didn't even open the book because I already knew the description would read something along the lines of "void of any living organisms and/or lifeforms)

My coworkers were in full support, even to the extent of making care packages :). See the package that Vicki made for Ben and I? A porta potty! (So thoughtful and practical! I'll spare you the gruesome details of how to use this...)

My Faja (pronounced FAH-Jah in a Madeline Kahn voice) picked me up a cake, 

and while he was at the market he threw one of these suckers in the basket ;-) 

 (no, supermarkets do not generally sale Samsung Galaxy Tabs)

They got it for me as an early birfday present. How awesome is that? It has a front facing camera so I can web chat from anywhere! You know you have awesome parents when they buy you a TABLET for your birthday! (my birthday is July 8th, please mark your calendars).

Next, we had Jared over to help me pack. He was so helpful! He decided that we need to use Space Bags for the packing of all my clothes.

Step One:

Put the clothes in the space bag

Step 2: 

Seal the Space Bag

Step 3: 

Suck all the air out of the Space Bag via vacuum cleaner.

And thus the story of our packing and moving begins...

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For the sheer irony of things, I feel it necessary to note that the font I am typing in is called GEORGIA.

A Bathroom Update

I sent this memo out at the office the other day, and thought  my friends and family would enjoy it:

Hello Folks,

It pains me to  have to be the bearer of bad news, really, it does. However, as of late, we have been receiving some complaints* of  abnormally foul smells permeating out of the restroom facilities. As you could imagine, this causes great discomfort considering the restroom’s proximity to the kitchen.

I was asked to kindly remind you of the clean and care-free facilities located at the end of the “Green Mile.”  Now, we* understand that making it to the Green Mile facilities is a stretch at times, and accidents DO happen; in lieu of these findings,  we have invested in a remedy. (please see attached “Exhibit A”)

The remedy is called ‘POO POURRI’** and it has a friendly tagline of: “Spritz the Bowl before you GO and NO ONE ELSE will ever know”. The bottles are conveniently located in the restrooms, so if/when and accident does occur, you will be well equiped.

Please follow these instructions and thank you for making this a safer environment for us all.

Exhibit "A"

*This email does not reflect the personal opinions of the OFFICE MANAGER, but rather, THE COMPANY as a whole. Don’t shoot the messenger.

**This product is not meant for topical or internal use.

DAY TWO: Texas to Memphis in 11.5 hrs (Part 1)

day two...

Alas. We wake up to Texas doing it up BIG. The hotel we stayed at (Super 8, Amarillo) had hot breakfast ready. Hot biscuits and gravy, hot grits and pats of butter, bagels, donuts, and my personal favorite -a Texas shaped waffle maker.

Now, I know you are probably wondering, "why the heck did you stay at a Super 8? Only hookers go there!" Oh, little do you know, unexperienced Traveler, that THIS particular Super 8 used to be a Country Inn and Suites. Therefore, the rooms were huge, they had a kitchen nook, a living room, the works! Not even Hilton could boast that. And the breakfast was mmmm mmmm good.

While heading out of Amarillo, we caught a glimpse of the notorious, Cadillac Ranch. However, we were not inclined to stop due to the over-abundance of Back-packers/potential homeless people that loomed about. (that and we missed the exit and the next exit was not for 15 miles. minor details). I've attached the picture below for those of you that are unfamiliar with the ranch.

As we trekked along the I-40 I read a beaten, broken sign that read "LARGEST CROSS". I, of course, thought it was a joke. But the joke was on me, we is in the South!

We kept trucking along until, in the distance, I saw it. One huge Cross. It looked out of place, in the middle of a field in no-wheres-ville. This caused us to stop off and see it. Turns out, it was worth it.

We got out of the car and saw a ton of statues placed in a circle surrounding the cross. The statues were a representation of Jesus' trip to the Mount of Golgotha. They were detailed and awesomely breathtaking.

to be continued...

DAY ONE: You Know You're From Cali When...

day one.

We began our trip at the bright hour of 3am. And anyone who is anybody knows, 3am ain't too bright. But, regardless, we made it up right when the alarm went off. That, in and of itself, was a miracle. By the time daylight hit, the pictures began.

We drove through California, then finally hit Arizona. It was a much longer, tedious, empty, hot, lonelier, drive than I first expected. Needless to say, we were unimpressed by Arizona, thus the lack of pictures. 

I was thoroughly disappointed that I did not see ONE cactus.

That could only mean one thing, the cacti in the Roadrunner cartoons were fake.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM CALI WHEN:

You're driving through Arizona and somehow you can relate the absolute nothingness you see to DISNEYLAND. 

Hubby: "This reminds me of the tram ride at Disneyland- you know the part when you go through the desert."

Me: "Uhm, people are going to know we're from California right quick."

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SO after an unimpressive Arizona, we headed on towards New Mexico. Which oddly enough looked like an even more empty Arizona, I did not think that was possible.

 We saw practically NO buildings in New Mexico until we hit Albuquerque. 

When we arrived in Albuquerque, we were convinced that the buildings were disguised rock formations, since everything was so.. earth-tone-y.

I kid you not, I told Ben:

"New Mexico reminds me of the SKIN TONE CRAYONS that you had to buy in 1st grade to draw Colored people. "

To this Ben responded with a blank stare.

 So much for being politically correct.

And off we go!

 After an unimpressive New Mexico (that vaguely resembled the whereabouts from the horror films, "The Hills Have Eyes" and "The Hills Have Eyes 2") We went on to TEXAS!

 Not without neglecting our High-Protein Snacks...

HISTORY LESSON:

Highway 40, which we took all the way to Memphis, parallels the Historic Route 66. Point In Case.

And we FINALLY MADE IT! 

See below for a picture of the WORLD'S LARGEST USB DRIVE (as determined by Ben and Myself)

 Some parts of Texas were about as Empty as Chernobyl.

JUST SPOTTED:

 A giant SQUIDWARD making its way through Texas!!!

We arrived in Amarillo, Texas at about 7am. Just in time for some Texan BBQ at the Texas Roadhouse. We were famished, and total gluttons.

After that we retired to our living quarters, exhausted and eagerly awaiting our TEXAS shaped waffles the next day.

Bedeep Bedepp Bedeep That's All Folks!